LEAVING FOR AMERICA: SECOND ATTEMPT

We essentially have made all preparations to return to America. This blog entry covers issues related to obtaining tickets, as well as reflections on how relationships will go in America when we return from Russia. 

Getting tickets to the U.S. Yesterday, April 10, I was able to purchase the tickets needed for Marina Grace and me to get to America. It has been a very complicated process. We actually got Marina’s Russian travel passport back earlier than the April 5 date we had been given. Nevertheless, when my friend came over and tried to help me get tickets on the Avia site I used before, it would not process the sales. I got vague messages just stating, “Did not process.” My friend and I thought maybe it was my bank card. As I mentioned before, since I got “hacked” (of a sort) they upped my security. When we went to the bank, however, they said they actually sent the money for the tickets twice, and Avia returned the money both times. 

We were confused. I posted this problem on Facebook, and an American friend who lives in St. Petersburg wrote that you cannot reserve tickets to fly from Russia to America. The U.S. will not permit it, even though you are going through stops in other countries to get there. I could not find that explanation anywhere else, but I trusted my friend. He travels quite a bit. 

What I eventually had to do was to book a flight to Istanbul from St. Petersburg and do another separate order from Istanbul to the U.S. I ran into problems with my card again. I booked the flight to the U.S. first to make sure I could get there. I thought perhaps that would be the problem. There were no problems getting that flight. I used the American site, Expedia, which my friend had recommended. He even set it up for me. I had to use my brother’s American credit card so it took some time to get that information. I was relieved that eventually all went well. 

I used Yandex Travel to book my flight from Petersburg to Istanbul, but it would not accept my card because it does not have my name on it. I tried unsuccessfully several times and then decided to transfer money to another Russian card I have because it does have my name on it. Unfortunately the bank’s alarm bells went off and shut down my card again. I really began to doubt if this would ever work out. After a couple of days I got my bank card open again. I decided to use the old Avia site to get our tickets from Petersburg to Istanbul. You cannot imagine my relief that the order was processed, and I received confirmations. 

So we are set to leave Russia on April 17 to go to Istanbul. We will spend the night there and leave at 6:10 a.m. to go to Frankfurt, Germany, then to Washington, D.C., and finally to North Carolina. I believe I have all needed documents. I have Marina’s and my American and Russian passports. I have her apostille birth certificate and a stamped copy of Oksana’s death certificate. The elementary school here gave me a document showing she is leaving school with proper permission. I didn’t ask for it, but they said it could be needed. 

Nevertheless, I am not “counting my chickens before they hatch,” as the saying goes. I believe we will leave, but with international events being what they are these days, one can never be sure. The U.S. seems to be getting desperate. 

Responses from readers. I was terribly disappointed in many of the responses to my last blog entry. I had stated in general my reasons for leaving, but informed readers I was not going to get into the very private aspects which I factored into my decision. I explained that this move is not about politics. It certainly is not about choosing the American “system” over Russia. This decision is about family. 

Nevertheless, I got even more negative responses–most of which questioned either my intellect or motives. And even after I mentioned responses that I had gotten that were based on misreadings of my blogs, I got some that were even worse. One guy reminded me that I had moved to America in 2008 to start a new business and that business failed. How could I want to move there again, he wondered! He also referred to my late wife having to persuade me to move back to Russia. 

The truth is I have never started a new business; I have never thought about starting a new business. I never wrote anything about starting a business. I ended up taking a job at a business where my brother had been half-owner for years. The business did not fail. My wife and I were of “one spirit” on moving to Russia from the beginning. No element of “persuasion” ever entered our discussions. 

It’s responses like this one that make writing a blog unpleasant. I understood when I would get anti-Russian responses to my earlier blogs. The news that people were hearing in the West about Russia presented Russia as a terrible place. I think some Americans liked that idea. For me to write that such presentations were and are completely false, challenged their presuppositions. They wanted very much to believe Vladimir Putin is a dictator, who answers only to a bunch of Russian oligarchs. They saw on the news that life here is awful! 

My first hand knowledge of the changes I saw here from 2002 (when I first visited here) to now upset their worldview. I tried to show them they were wrong based on my experience. They continued to assert that they knew Russia better than I, although they were the ones who had never lived here. What really confused me were the ones who took to social media to call Joe Biden a liar over many issues, but they believed everything he said about Russia. 

Now, however, some “pro-Russian” readers are determined to paint my move to America as me siding with the Russophobes. I grew so frustrated I almost came to the point of just not writing anymore. What kept me going were others who motivated me to keep writing whatever my detractors said. Many wrote that they really want to hear my reactions to moving back to the U.S. They completely understood that this move is about being with my children, my grandchildren and other close relatives and friends. It is about seeing that broad smile on my little daughter’s face when she talks about being with her family in America again. She can still remember how we all got together and had such good times. 

The Road Ahead. So, if all goes well, we will be in the United States soon. As I have stated more than once, I have no rose colored glasses on when it comes to my view of life in America. In my opinion, since we moved here in 2016, America is in far worse shape politically, economically and socially. I have made preparations as best I can. 

The issue of personal relationships can cut both ways, however. While I know we will be received with great joy by some, there are others who were close to us who, because of my positive presentation of life here in Russia, have left me wondering how things will go overall. Things have changed in some relationships. For example, we loved our Orthodox Church there. When we moved here, missing those folks was one of the most difficult parts. Nevertheless, I have gotten some very nasty responses from some folks there. At one point, a member of the church there wrote to me and told me I needed to block these people who were attacking me. He essentially said, “Hal, you laid out why you believe the Strategic Military Operation was justified. They are not reading or not responding to what you stated. They just hate Russia.” So I took his advice and blocked them. When we go back, I am determined not to cause division in the congregation, even if that means we must go to another congregation. 

I see the problems from travel to relationships and friendships as being related to the larger issue of the deep division between Russia and America. I maintain that the division was intentionally created by “leaders” in the U.S.  I really am caught between the two worlds. I have chosen not to dwell on that division as we go home. My family and real friends are waiting. No one is going to rob Marina and me of the joy of being with these people. Let the folks in D.C. or wherever say what they will: We are doing our best to make it back.